Learning to Lead One Step at a Time

by Brittany Ingram 

From the Editor: Brittany Ingram lives with her husband Isaiah and her two-year-old daughter Marjorie. Brittany wants to go beyond her high school diploma, and when family responsibilities allow, she wants to get a college degree. She loves to read, and when the time comes, she will be homeschooling her daughter. Her grandmother was told about the organization when Brittany was in elementary school, so she has been a member since the age of nine. She now serves as the president of the Fredericksburg Area Chapter of the NFB of Virginia.

She likes to write poetry and stories, loves to read, and knits on a knitting loom. Her favorite hobby is self-education, and she is, in her own words, an autodidact. This article first appeared in the September 2019 issue of The Vigilant, the newsletter of the National Federation of the Blind of Virginia.

The journey that has brought me to this point in my life, where I am furiously trying to balance family, personal health, and volunteer responsibilities, has been a long and tiresome road. I have been asked to share some of my journey with you, and I hope I can do my story justice.

At first glance I am not an image of perfect leadership. I never dreamed of really taking the world by storm or making a career out of activism. I am quiet, reserved, introverted, a reader, and a thinker. I enjoy a simple lifestyle that includes good homemade meals and playing with my baby. So when I received a phone call that would uproot my quiet little world, I was, you could say, blindsided.

I have been a member of the National Federation of the Blind since I was nine years old. I lost my sight when I was five and was told when I was six that I was broken. My blindness is due to childhood abuse which resulted in Stevens-Johnson Syndrome. After being placed in foster care I was told that, because my eyes were damaged, my family did not want me. Of course this was completely absurd, and my grandmother was quick to gain custody of both me and my little brother; but the words calling me unwanted and broken have never really left me. And they were quite believable until my grandmother decided to expose me to the organization where blind and broken are as opposite as earth and sky.

I remember all the events of my years with the organization running through my mind when the president of the historic Fredericksburg chapter called me in July 2018. My daughter was about nine months old, and since she had been born, I had only gone to one monthly meeting and had not even thought to pay my yearly dues. For all intents and purposes, I was inactive and focusing on learning to parent as a blind mother. So I was shocked to say the least when I was asked to participate in the Virginia Chapter Leadership Institute. I immediately thought I was the wrong person for the job. I was not an example of strong blind independence, and I had a baby girl who was starting to show signs of needing additional attention and care.
 

Yet I thought of how much smaller and disinterested the chapter had seemed the last time I had been there, and I started to feel both sadness and resolve building up. For reasons I did not fully comprehend, they wanted me to represent the Fredericksburg chapter in this leadership thing. I sighed and agreed, just so long as it did not interfere with my parenting duties. I made it clear that, as much as I loved and believed in the NFB, my daughter came first. And so, I was in.

I have been on a roller coaster ride this past year. I started out with very little confidence, ability, or even conviction. Doubts, second guesses, and fear of imperfection and useless contributions have plagued my heart and mind for months. But something strange and unexpected has also been coming over me. It all started in December when a project was sent out for the leadership members to complete in preparation for our first gathering in January. It was a personality quiz that highlighted your strengths, preferences, and overall character.

I was once again taken by surprise. Here was something that told me what I was good at: organization, communication, and staying focused. I felt like I was looking into the mirror for the first time. And as time passed, I began to recognize those and other skills coming forward. I noticed how certain traits translated beyond my leadership role and into my role as wife and mother, friend and sister, and how it began to shape my daily priorities. I was curious, and when that happens, there is only one result; I go diving into books and research everything I can get my hands on. How could I use these traits and skills in my leadership role to their most productive uses? What really defines leadership, and do I have all the qualifications? Is there a way to use my shortcomings and weaknesses as effectively as I use my strengths and talents? The answers were right there if I could only find them.

Here is what I have learned so far. I will probably never stop discovering new philosophies, debatable definitions, and opinionated preferences when it comes to leadership. But between the conversations with the other participants, all the books and resource materials, and my own revelations, I also am beginning to understand who I am and how I personally portray the image of a leader. Everything in life is about balancing priorities, knowing yourself well enough to know when to draw the line in the sand, and not wasting any time on what you are not fully passionate about. This past year I have not only made some great friends through this program, but I have discovered who I really am, the kind of person I want to model for my daughter, and the kind of partner I hope to be for my husband. Doubt and fear are still a daily obstacle for me, but I am learning to work with them and use them to my advantage—as reasons for doing instead of reasons for running. I still have a lot to learn, a lot to improve on, but leadership is no different from any other goal in life; I just have to slow down, breathe deeply, and take the journey one step at a time.