by Miss Ruth Williams
From the Editor: Here is a report from our National Senior Division on two retreats handled during the pandemic. Ruth Williams is a moving writer, and I hope readers enjoy both of the journeys she describes. This is taken from the Spring/Summer issue of The Sounding Board, the official publication of the National Federation of the Blind of New Jersey.
As someone fully ensconced in my “golden years,” I’d like to tell you all a little story.
First, let me set the stage. I’m a kindly-auntie type who goes by the name “Miss Ruth.” My knitting is always nearby, and I’ve got a tiger-tabby cat named Squeaky. Hard candy is in my handbag (you may call it a “purse,” dearie) and I own nothing but sensible shoes. Does this sound like a person who’d sell you a bill of goods?!? Of course not! I’m not Tom Selleck saying, “Look. This isn’t my first rodeo,” as he shills for reverse mortgages. Mind you, I love that mustached man. I’m just not so sure I trust him!
When I started out in freelance writing, I wrote articles for senior magazines, and one of my topics was reverse mortgages. It’s funny how much I thought I knew about getting older back then, but that reflected my relative youth. I was in my thirties, writing about things I wouldn’t need for decades, like Medicare supplements and retirement funds.
Now that I’m fifty-six, I can say that life isn’t always easy, but with age often comes wisdom, and you learn how to shine in your own unique way.
So what’s the key to aging gracefully? In a nutshell, find things that interest you, people who “get” you, and if you’ve learned a few things along the way, share them with others.
Fellowship like that is what the NFB’s 2020 Virtual Senior Retreat, held from October 18 to 24, 2020, was all about.
Normally held at Rocky Bottom Resort and Conference Center for the Blind in Sunset, South Carolina, due to the COVID-19 pandemic, it was held virtually. Sixty attendees “Zoomed” together to accelerate (small pun for you there) a sense of well-being and self-confidence for those with newly acquired vision loss, or life-long blindness.
There were eleven of us in attendance from New Jersey (the most of all of the twenty states represented) and the fifteen volunteers running the show—including instructors, presenters, and Zoom hosts—did a phenomenal job.
Even though the topics were varied—leather-crafting, military collectibles, knitting, gardening, creative writing, auto-maintenance, jewelry-making, technology, and cane travel—they all spoke with enthusiasm and energy about their pet passions.
For example, my Krafters’ Korner pal, Jill Rossiter, taught participants how to create a craft out of a towel. Even though my origami project ended up looking more like a hammerhead shark than a swan, I was still proud of my crafty creation, whom I named JAWS after the movie monster (and the screen reader!).
The next day, during a presentation by Shelley Alongi, President of the NFB’s Writers’ Division, I went to their website and signed up. Finding people with shared experiences is a way to keep thriving.
Fast forward to 2021, and, while we’re still holding the NFB National Senior Division meetings virtually, this one was just as jam-packed with interesting discussions and warm fellowship. It was held from September 19 to 25, 2021.
There were so many sessions of interest that it’s hard to focus on just one, but I got a lot out of the conversation about how to respond when you find yourself in unexpected social situations. For example, a small child points at your white cane and says loudly, “What is that stick, Mommy?” It’s always best to be tactful when this happens and to regard it as a teachable moment. There’s no better way to mitigate the sense of stigma around blindness than to address it kindly but directly. You could say something like, “I’m using this stick to find my way around, since I can’t see. It helps me feel what’s in my way.”
All in all, it’s been my experience that the NFB Senior Retreat is a terrific resource for those of us in our golden years living with vision loss.
The way I see it, another way of saying “aging gracefully” is simply “living with grace;” being yourself in a world that counts on conformity; putting aside metrics like net worth and social status to set your moral compass by the Golden Rule.
So how do you find the “zhoosh” you need to keep going strong, well into your later years? Find what lights you up from the inside. For me, it’s reading books, writing stories, and knitting on a round loom. Find the people who “get” you. For me, it’s my friends who are like sisters-of-the-soul. It’s also the kind, kindred spirits in my network of support groups. Find a way to share what’s important to you with others. For me, it’s positivity, spirituality, and standing up for my principles.
As you age, you realize that problems are projects in disguise, and every time you overcome an obstacle, you build resilience muscles you can use to move the next mountain. You also learn you don’t have to climb every mountain. Some of them, dear hearts, you can go around!
If you think about who you are today, at whatever decade you’re in, it’s the most “you” you’ve ever been. You’ve survived exactly 100 percent of your worst days, so you must be doing something right.
It doesn’t matter that you can’t see well, if at all. So you’ve got grey hair and wrinkles? You’ve earned every one of them. Wear them with pride. You’ve got wisdom to share, time in which to do it, and a world in need of encouragement.
Before you know it, you'll have found your calling, and once you’ve figured that out, you’re golden.