On Becoming a Father

by Marco Carranza

From the Editor: Many of us who are blind parents have two reactions when we read about the extra scrutiny we may receive. One is fear and a bit of anger. The other is gratitude that we will be supported by the National Federation of the Blind. What we find is that blindness is usually a bigger issue for officials than it is for members of our family, and this is how Marco experiences fatherhood and how he explained it to the most recent convention of the National Federation of the Blind of Louisiana:

As a young man, I didn’t think much about becoming a father. In fact, I thought more about who I wanted to pursue to make fatherhood possible! However, when I did think about having kids, I always thought about the what-ifs.

What are the what-ifs you may ask? Here are some of the big what-ifs that were on my mind. If I decide to have kids, what if they are blind? What if my blindness makes me a bad parent?
As a young man I struggled with my blindness, and it made my life difficult for much of my adolescence. I didn’t have solid blind role models to demonstrate all the ways blind people go after their dreams, including parenthood. The what-ifs were winning. However, my training at the Louisiana Center for the Blind and my involvement in the Federation gave me the opportunity to meet many awesome blind mothers and fathers over the years who helped challenge my beliefs and turn all those what-ifs upside down. I’m thinking of Joanne Wilson and Arlene Hill, along with other countless blind parents who I didn’t directly know, but whose brief encounters at conventions filled me with hope for my own future as a dad.

I’m now the father of three kids: Sofia, Camila, and Mateo. My kids are so much fun! As a family, we love gardening, cooking, playing outside, and the latest obsession from our three-year-old, talking about poop.

When my wife Rosy was pregnant with our third child, we decided to go to Disneyland. It was such a great day. Pictures with princesses, check. Dumbo ride and Pirates of the Caribbean, check. A round of delicious churros, check! When we sat down for dinner, our youngest daughter announced that she urgently needed to go to the bathroom. A waiter explained that the nearest bathroom was behind the restaurant several blocks away. Sensing that the clock was ticking before her dam burst, I grabbed her little hand and headed outside to get directions. Using the travel skills and self-confidence I gained through the Louisiana Center for the Blind, we found the bathroom in record time. Papi saves the day, check! On the way back to the restaurant, we bought a bubble wand and laughed about how fast we had run to the bathroom.

Since that time, there have been so many other times that my LCB training and that my involvement in the NFB have given me the ability to successfully parent. I’ve chaperoned school field trips, taken my kids to parks, doctor’s visits, plane trips, zoos, and I can’t wait for all the experiences that the future holds.

So what about the what-ifs that I talked about earlier? It is my experience that my kids don’t really care about my blindness. What they most want are their emotional and physical needs to be met, and vision isn’t necessary. And about the question of having a blind child? My children are all sighted, but looking around this room and at the membership of the NFB, there is no doubt that with training and opportunity, blind children can choose parenthood, or whatever else they want to pursue.

For me, there is no happier feeling than knowing that as a blind father I can give my kids a fun and safe life with plenty of adventures and silliness.