Growing Up: Some Reflections of a Blind Father

Growing Up: Some Reflections of a Blind Father

Future Reflections March/ April 1983, Vol. 2 No. 2
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GROWING UP:
SOME REFLECTIONS OF A
BLIND FATHER
By James D. Walker
The notion of parenthood and the impact of my attitudes
and behavior upon the children which I influence
is always of eminent concern to me. Not
only is the way that I act a reflection of my
parents' attitudes toward me as a blind person,
but the attitude of those in society in general.
For the most part, I believe that I have been given
a fair shake in growing up comparing myself to the
average person. My father loved me, and did all
that he was able to in providing me with a good upbringing.
To a significant degree though, my
growing up was altered by the concept of "legal
blindness." Other kids made fun of me. I didn't get
dates sometimes because of the label, and because
I didn't drive a car. But fishing, mowing the lawn,
washing the car, scraping and painting the house,
cleaning the basement, assisting with automobile
repair, sports activities (except where there was a
fast-traveling object, such as in tennis, baseball,
and the like), and an occasional stop at the tavern
(after majority age) were among many of the
typical kinds of skills and activities in which my
father guided me.
However, "legal blindness" implied limitation, and
quite often certain activities were limited or
nonexistent because of what my father thought I
could, or could not do. My father prohibited me
from using the power drill and the power saw. His
prohibition was the direct result of what he
thought I could see or not see. This was an "obvious"
and probably "normal" kind of prohibition
for a father of a blind child. However, I knew from
experience in the shops in schools that I could operate power tools. Additionally, I was disobedient.
I used the very equipment at home which
dad told me not to use and I still have all of my
fingers and there are no holes in my hands. I
always felt that common sense and safety
measures were essential to the operation of tools.
Furthermore, common sense and safety sense are
not limited to the sighted. Blindness does not affect
the brain.
I believe that part of the indoctrination which my
parents received is that which the so-called professionals
imposed. I speak primarily of the
ophthalmologists and the rehabilitation
counselors. The protective and patronizing effect
of the professionals and my unknowing parents
kept me from developing competence and confidence
at a more significant point in my life. My
parents knew two years before I did, that I would
lose the rest of my sight. I had always been told
that my sight would be stable, fluctuating slightly
sometimes. But when I was in college, I began to
notice a change in my vision. What I thought were
shadows turned out to be holes, and holes,
shadows. I began to walk into things. Finally I
went to an ophthalmologist who told me I would
be "blind," that is, have no measureable or functional
vision by my mid-30's.
It was then that a friend of mine told me how my
mother had called her in tears two years ago
because our family eye doctor had told her I was
going to lose the rest of my sight. I believe that if I
had received appropriate services in cane travel,
Braille, and other skills rather than protection
from "trauma," the whole process of vocational
choice, education, and social existence would have
come to me at a more reasonable point in my life.
Even then, the rehabilitation agency refused to
teach me cane travel (mobility, they call it) or
Braille. They said I had too much vision. I dropped
out of school for awhile and taught myself Braille
and how to use a cane. It was another blind man
who really helped me the most.
Now that I am a father of two children and one on
the way, I have the opportunity to educate my
children about blindness as my parents were not
able to do. One of my children is of another marriage
and is now of another state. He is a boy of
eight years who I would like to take fishing, show
safety on the use of my power tools, and all of
those fatherly things. But I have a beautiful
daughter of almost twenty-one months whom I can
teach those things if she is interested. And I can
teach my new baby, due this November.
I will not have to teach them necessarily how to
read Braille just because my wife and I are blind,
but I can teach them what it means to be blind.
Two of the most annoying misconceptions on the
part of the public with regards to Barbara and me
as blind parents are those which infer that someone
takes care of our daughter for us, and that
which infers that she will take care of us as she
grows up. I, as a father, do not intend to make my
daughter mow the lawn, wash the windows, clean
the basement or do other kinds of domestic chores
which I now do, simply because I am blind, and she
is sighted. There will be plenty of time and opportunity
for our children to participate in maintaining
a household and earning an allowance as well
as learning responsibility. This responsibility will
be taught by us. We shall continue to hire readers
and drivers and not expect that our sighted
children drive for nothing or read for nothing. If
they are able to, without taking away from their
personal activities, they could be hired as well.
And I hope that through this kind of guidance and
example my children will learn, as I have, that
blindness is a nuisance, but need not be a handicap.
Jim Walker is currently the state president of the
National Federation of the Blind of Nebraska, and
works at the Nebraska Services for the Visually
Impaired as an orientation counselor. He is also
active in his local community. He is the immediate
past president of the Lincoln Bethany Lion's Club;
a member of the Task Force on Scouting for the
Handicapped, Boy Scouts of America, and was
recently appointed to the Honorary Board of the
Lincoln Hilton Hotel Jim states that, "My
philosophy about blindness, and more importantly,
what I do to live that philosophy, can be attributed
to personal involvement in the National
Federation of the Blind,"
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