The Loving Congregation

The Loving Congregation

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THE LOVING CONGREGATION
by Harvey Lauer

In the following story Harvey Lauer captures
the experience that many blind church members have had and demonstrates the
most effective way of educating, reassuring, and witnessing to congregations
filled with ordinary people who fear blindness and are uncertain how to behave
with blind people. Here is what he has to say:

"We can't ask them to help. What
could they do? They are blind!" When we were new members of our congregation,
Bethlehem in Broadview, Illinois, that's almost the first remark my wife and
I overheard. It didn't surprise me because I had met professors who wouldn't
let me take their courses and some who wanted to give me a good grade just because
I was blind. By the time we moved to Broadview, I was employed as a rehabilitation
teacher and had to deal regularly with stereotyped
notions about disability.

My wife, Lueth, had just come from a
rural community in which blindness was poorly understood by her family and friends.
They meant well but perceived her as dependent, even as an adult. She came to
the city with hopes of being accepted as
a contributing member of society.

Because of her shyness she reacted by
feeling ill at ease and withdrawing. She hoped that we could find a friendlier

church, but I saw the problem differently. I knew that only time and acquaintance
would reveal whether such remarks were based on clannishness, ignorance, or
pity. People were friendly, but that didn't help much. They told her how amazing
it was that she read and wrote Braille, something she had learned in school
and which she felt should not be considered unusual. As a result, she felt self-conscious
and would not read aloud in public.

At church gatherings we both sat a lot
and must have appeared rather helpless. People may have wondered how we did
our housework. We kept a reasonably good house, but there were two big obstacles
to functioning in church.

The first was unfamiliarity with the
territory. At home we knew where to find things. At church almost nothing was
ever in the same place twice. At home awkward behavior could be laughed off;
in public the appearance of awkwardness brings not only needed assistance but
sometimes too much help and expressions of pity that are hard to take.

Talk was futile. There were two barriers.
It was hard for Lueth to try new things, and some people were reluctant to give
her a chance. Some wanted to help but didn't know how to begin.

While she couldn't wait on tables efficiently,
she could have helped in the kitchen if she had known where things were kept.
She couldn't watch children on the playground, but she could have helped in
the nursery if people had believed in her ability. She couldn't make posters,
but she had developed the ability to write and dramatize stories. Yet she needed
encouragement and acceptance. My own road to acceptance and involvement was
just as rocky.

Over the course of several years, and
with the help of prayer and good friends, our strategy took shape. We volunteered
to organize the coffee hours. Then we "forgot" to find someone to
go in early to make coffee and prepare for the activity, so the job fell to
us.

We went a half hour early in order to
familiarize ourselves with the kitchen and find everything we needed. The members
who came later with coffee cakes were surprised to find us there and more surprised
to find the place set up for business.

In calling people for the next coffee
hour, we found that it's easy to get people to bring things, but harder to find
someone who will go early and set everything up. Lueth said, "Why don't
we do it again?" So we did it again and many more times after that. Each
time different people who were taking their turns would come in and find us
working. Good working relationships were formed. Lueth began to help with other
activities. People found out what she could do efficiently
and gave her those tasks.

The years went by. We had birthday parties
for our children and invited members' children. We joined neighborhood Bible
study groups, where Lueth gradually gained the confidence to read passages and
contribute to the discussion. She volunteered to be a friendly visitor in convalescent
homes, where she could talk with people individually, then later read stories
to groups, and finally lead a Bible class. Now she is on the evangelism team
and an officer on the church council.

I did not learn about the final incident
in my story until twenty years after it happened. Some people in town told a
group of church members that we should be investigated because we were blind
and probably couldn't take proper care of our children.
Nothing was done about the suggestion
because the members assured them that blindness was no reason for such a concern.
They said that our children were at least as well cared for as theirs. It turned
out that ours is not only a friendly church, but
an observant and loving one as well.