Sitting in a Corner? Not Me!

Sitting in a Corner? Not Me!

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Toby Longface

Sitting in a Corner? Not Me!

by Tobias (Toby) Longface

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From the Editor: Toby Longface is President of the Tucson

Chapter of the National Federation of the Blind of Arizona.

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"Toby, you know, if you go blind, you will just have to

spend your time sitting in a corner and doing nothing." This is

what my best friend said to me a few years ago when I was rapidly

losing my vision. Today I am sorry to say that I bought into that

negative thinking myself until I met the wonderful people and

ideas about blindness of the National Federation of the Blind.

It all started several years ago after I was struck by a

drunk driver. I was driving home in my car after visiting a

friend when a car came out of nowhere (traveling an estimated

ninety-eight miles an hour) and crashed into me. As often happens

in such cases, the drunk driver received only a scratch on his

nose, but I was not so lucky. I received severe head injuries,

and my car went off to the junk yard.

As a result of my head injuries I suffered considerable

short-term memory loss, and my eyes also started their rapid

deterioration. Medically there seemed to be nothing to do to stop

this deterioration or to regain the vision I had already lost, so

I began what was to be a long period of rehabilitation.

After a few years of floundering around, I told my best

friend I was becoming blind, and he told me I'd have nothing to

do but sit in a corner. At the time I thought I couldn't face the

future with that kind of an outlook, so I tried to do the best I

could to go on. My wife Madonna tried her very best to help me.

She did everything she could to keep my spirits up and to give me

confidence. It would have been impossible to face the future

without her support. She gave me her all.

I had previously been a professional photographer and a

silversmith, making my living with my eyes and my hands. I tried

to keep up these activities using my limited remaining vision and

whatever blind techniques I could devise on my own, but finally I

got to the point where I could no longer do my work.

I went to a Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) hospital

where surgery was attempted, but my vision only got worse. They

finally said that my retinas were so badly damaged that they

couldn't do anything else for me. They gave up the idea of any

more surgery and sent me instead to the rehabilitation center for

blinded veterans at the Tucson, Arizona, VA Hospital.

But in my mind I wasn't ready for that just yet since I

still had a little vision. I wonder how many times other blind

people have said, "I'm not blind; I can still see a little; so I

don't need to go to a training center."

Well I was blind, and I might as well have accepted it. But

my mind was just playing tricks on me, and I really thought my

life was effectively over. Without understanding it, I had bought

right into my friend's notion that I should just sit in a corner.

I gave up on life. I sold or gave away all the tools I had

used to earn my living. I now know that this was a big mistake,

but at the time I thought I was being perfectly reasonable. Of

course I wasn't taking into account the fact that I knew nothing

at all about blindness and what trained blind people can do and

how they do it.

Then a wonderful thing happened to me! I was introduced to

the National Federation of the Blind and its Kernel Books. The

first Federationist I met was Karen Ortega, who was the President

of the Tucson Chapter. We met shortly before the 1997 state

convention of the NFB of Arizona was to be held--it was in Tucson

that year.

Karen invited my wife and me to attend the convention. I

told her I was sorry, but Madonna and I would be traveling to the

Northwest to see our children at the very time the convention was

to be held.

Karen said, "I'm sorry to hear that. You could learn a lot

about blindness and also about yourself at the convention, but at

least let me give you tapes of what we call our Kernel Books.

These are easy-to-read stories about the way many of our members

cope with their blindness every day and lead normal, happy,

productive lives. I think they will help you a lot if you'll take

the time to read them."

So I began to read and read and read. Wow! What a way to

find out about the Federation, its people, and its ideas. What a

way to begin to learn the truth about blindness and, therefore,

about myself. To these writers being blind was just an

inconvenience. Gee whiz, if I could learn to think like that, how

great it would be!

Before long I called Karen to thank her for the books and

also to tell her that I had changed my mind. After reading these

little books, I could see new hope and a new chance for my life.

I told her that Madonna and I had decided that she should travel

to the Northwest to see our kids alone and that the best thing I

could do was to get to that state convention.

I was overwhelmed at the convention, and it changed my life

forever. I got to know Karen Ortega personally. I found out that,

not only was she the President of the Tucson Chapter, but she was

also a full-time wife and mother as well as a full-time college

student. She had a very long white cane which enabled her to move

swiftly and with ease--mine, given to me by the VA, was so short

that it was not a useful tool at all but only an object which

could be used to identify me as blind.

I made many new friends at that convention; and, as you

might guess, I joined the organization that very first day. The

role models I met have influenced my life forever, and I learned

that thousands of blind people are doing just fine, living normal

and productive lives every day.

So after the convention I began to live again too. First I

decided to go back to my love of making jewelry, at least on a

limited basis. I spend lots of time writing poetry, and I have

already been fortunate enough to win an NFB poetry contest. I'm

also writing a book--The Life and Times of Toby Longface.

I have learned to operate a talking computer--before this

time I had never put much stock in fancy gadgets. Using my

computer and Braille printer, I am starting a greeting card

company, producing Braille and large-print cards exclusively for

the blind or visually impaired. To do this I am using my own

poetry and my own photography.

In addition to all of these activities, I plan to spend as

much time as I can doing volunteer work for the National

Federation of the Blind. In the fall of 1998 I was elected to

serve as President of our Tucson Chapter. Also I have already had

the chance to work on legislation to improve life for blind

people both by working here in Arizona with our state legislature

and by traveling to Washington, D.C., to work with our national

Congress.

I guess I just can't say enough about the National

Federation of the Blind and these little Kernel books! Remember,

it was these little kernels of truth about blindness which first

captured my attention and showed me in a very practical way that

life can be good, whether or not you are blind. Do I sound

prejudiced? I suppose I am.

I am deeply grateful to Dr. Kenneth Jernigan and all of the

other leaders and members of the Federation for all they have

done for me and for thousands of others just like me. If I had

not been introduced to the Federation through these wonderful

little books, I would probably be living out the life my best

friend assumed I would have--sitting in a corner. All of you have

truly helped me to see again.

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