Blind, Multiply Handicapped, and Independent

Blind, Multiply Handicapped, and Independent

Future Reflections Spring/ Summer1987, Vol. 6 No. 2
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BLIND, MULTIPLY HANDICAPPED,
AND INDEPENDENT
by Virginia Reagan
(Editor's Note: This is reprinted
from the Blind Mis sour ian; the newletter
of the National Federation of the Blind
of Missouri. The article was originally
titled, "Getting A Job".)
When I compare myself to what others
have accomplished, maybe it looks like I
haven't done much. But when I compare
myself to where I was a few years ago, I
can see I've come a long way.
Five years ago I was in a nursing
home. No one questioned but what I
should be there --that is, no one but me.
Today I am working full time, rent a
house, and live alone. A big change,
no?
I am what is usually known as multiply
handicapped. But putting that label on
myself really doesn't tell you anything.
Labels tend to cover up details. So let
me tell you a little about the subject I
know most about--me.
I have been orthopedically handicapped
since 1949, and at various times I was
bedfast, in a wheelchair, wearing braces, and walking with crutches. At
the present time I am in a wheelchair
most of the time, wear long leg braces
on both legs, have ulnar deviation
braces on both hands, and can walk short
distances with crutches. I have been
blind for going on six years.
Many people think of a person in a
wheelchair as helpless, and a blind
person as helpless; since I was both,
and still am, they seemed to think I was
a basket case. But they never could
find a basket big enough formed.
In 1977, I was in a nursing home in
Springfield, and this was my third
nursing home. That year I had orthopedic
surgery three time and ended up,
health-wise, in better condition than I
had been in years. I started talking
about getting out of nursing homes,
getting a job and living alone. Most
people thought I was crazy to even think
about such things. At first an occupational
therapist talked about rehabilitating
me in Springfield. Then
she finally decided my multiple handicaps
were more than she could handle,
and I was sent to Rusk Rehabilitation
Center in Columbia.
How did I like Rusk? Frankly, I
didn't. They asked me what I would like to learn, and I told them I wanted to
learn how to cook, make my bed, and do
other housework from a wheelchair. I
don't know why they bothered to ask me,
since we never did any of those things,
instead, they spent about three weeks
teating the movement in my hands, and I
think I flunked most of their tests.
They told me all the things I shouldn't
do; I just said, "OK", and kept on doing
them. When I talked about getting a
job, they discouraged me. In looking
back on it, they were probably just
trying to be practical. But I thought,
and still think, they just gave me up as
a hopeless case. After three and a half
weeks they were ready to send me back to
the nursing home in Springfield. I felt
betrayed, and thought going back to a
nursing home meant that's where I would
stay the rest of my life. They were
told by the nursing home in Springfield
that I would have to go on their waiting
list, and it would be at least two
months before they could take me back.
That's when they asked me if I would be
willing to go to another nursing home in
the state, if they could find a vacancy,
and I said yes. A few days later I went
to a nursing home in Warrensburg. I
resented going to any nursing home, and
when I arrived (by ambulance, no less) I
had a chip on my shoulder.
After spending a little more than
seven months in that nursing home (which
I hope was the the last nursing home
I'll ever be in) I was able to move into
an apartment for the handicapped in
Warrensburg. I had some hostile words
with the doctor before I got my discharge
from the nursing home. He told
me I had my visual handicap, orthopedic
handicap, might have a seizure while I
was cooking, etc. It was depressing
just listening to him. After listening
awhile to his litany of my handicaps, I
told him by biggest handicap was people
like him. He said they couldn't FORCE
me to stay in the nursing home against
my will, but I wouldn't have his blessing.
I told him I wasn't asking for his
blessing, just my discharge. I even
talked to the chief administrator of the
nursing home. He told me he honestly
doubted that I could make it living
alone, but he thought if that was what I
wanted, I should have a chance.
On June 2, 1978 (with the doctor's
discharge but not his blessing) I moved
out of the nursing home and into my own
apartment. I won't say it was easy,
because it really wasn't. The very
first night I was in the apartment, I
fell out of my wheelchair. I was
worried I might have to call someone for
help, but I found my wheelchair and
after a struggle was able to get back
into it. I'm just a so-so housekeeper.
But the first six weeks I had that
apartment, I spent all my time sweeping
and dusting and keeping everything in
perfect order, so the place was spotless.
I knew myself that I could keep
an apartment clean, but I felt I needed
to prove this to others. After six
weeks of incessant cleaning, I was sure
I had proved my point and went back to
my usual untidy ways. Now people would
know if my aprtment was messy, it was
because I let it get messy, and not
because I couldn't cope with sweeping
floors, washing dishes, and keeping
things tidy.
I should mention that when I was in
Springfield, I was helped by the Association
for the Blind there. They
taught me how to read and write Braille.
It was through them I got a talking book
machine and cassette and started getting
books through the Library of Congress.
They got me a Braille wrist watch. When
I was at Rusk, they paid for an elaborate
walker I use at home.
It was after I went to Warrensburg
that I was first put in touch with the
Bureau for the Blind. I had a great
deal of help from them when I lived in
Warrensburg. They provided many items
that would help in daily living. Then
they paid my expenses in getting my
Master's degree. I had gotten my B.S.
at another university when I could see,
but all my graduate hours that applied
on my Master's were taken as a blind
student.
After I finished my Master's, there
was the matter of employment. My
counselor at the Bureau for the Blind
gave me plenty of encouragement, but she
was realistic, too. She told me it
would take time. Then she sent their
employment specialist to see me. We had
a long talk about what kind of job I
wanted, and my first choice was to get
back into teaching. He provided helpful
information, and later on I was reimbursed
for most of my expenses in
interviews. But most of all, he gave me
moral support; I don't think he ever
doubted that I would eventually get a
job. But the nitty-gritty of finding a
job was up to me, and that's how it
should be. After all, jobs don't come
just from wishing, and no one can get
one for you.
I requested notices of jobs from
Central Missouri State University,
Southwest Missouri State University, and
School of the Ozarks. I registered with
Job Opportunities for the Blind (the job
referral program opperated by the National
Federation of the Blind and the
U.S. Department of Labor) in Baltimore.
I had my application in for six different
state positions. During the six
months after graduation, I filled out
applications with 43 different schools
in Missouri, had phone conversations
with many others, and had eleven interviews.
It was a long, hard process. I
would get my hopes up, and then have my
hopes dashed to the ground. After six
months, I was really getting discouraged.
I was almost ready to admit it was
hopeless to try to get a job, but I went for another interview, and I got the
job!
I am working full time now as a resource
room teacher in Koshkonong,
Missouri. I had to move since it involved
a job in another location than
the one I was living in. The Bureau for
the Blind paid most of my moving expenses.
I am renting a house... at the
present time. I hope eventually to buy
a lot and build my own home.
What's it like to have a job again?
Well, it feels good to be getting a
paycheck for work you did, rather than
getting a handout from the government
because you are handicapped and unemployed.
It feels good to pay rent all
by myself, rather than living in subsidized
housing. It feels good to pay
for all my groceries, rather than using
food stamps for part of them. And when
income tax time comes around, it will
even feel good to have income tax papers
to file.
I never used to feel that way. Spending
money for rent and groceries was
never a thrill. And taxes! What has
changed my attitude? Years of unemployment,
and being told your chances of
future employment are almost nil; but
then getting a job can change a lot of
things.
Financially, I'm probably no better
off now than I was before, but eventually
I will be. I used to get an SSI
check, a large subsidy on my rent, food
stamps, and Medicaid. When all these
expenses are taken out of a paycheck
from which taxes have been withheld, I
haven't gained much financially. But I
have gained a great deal in self-respect.
I don't have to depend on anyone
except myself for financial assistance.
I don't have to tell personal matters,
especially finances, to anyone unless I
want to. And I don't have to feel embarrassed
when I am with other people
who are complaining about income taxes;
I can just add my own gripes to theirs.
When others talk about their job, so can
I.
I can't speak with any authority about
semantics, whether the word "handicapped"
or "disabled" are different in
some way. Everyone, including people
who are different in some way, have to
be willing to prepare for a job, wait
for a job, convince an employer they can
do a job; and after they get a job, show
they really can do it. People who are
different may require special equipment
or alternative methods to get the job
done efficiently. It isn't up to your
boss to know your special needs; it's up
to us to let the boss know any special
needs, and give him a good reason for
each one.
I guess people who are handicapped, or
disabled, or different, will always have
a harder time getting a job. But when
we do get jobs, we should prove to our
employers that we are willing workers
and efficient, agreeable, cheerful employees.
If we are those things, they
will keep on hiring us.
---------------------------
Virginia Regan wrote this article
about five years ago. Since then, the
job position she held was eliminated
and, once again, Virginia was out of
work. As before, she encountered ignorance
and discrimination as she
searched for new employmemt. Today,
however, she is happily and productively
engaged as a member of the Brethern of
the Cross, a Roman Catholic lay covenent community. She is a live-in tutor and
counselor for adolescent boys. She also
does her share of the household work--
mending clothes, washing dishes, etc.
She also finds time to write and recently
won second place in the Matilda Zicgler Magazine for the Blind 80th
Anniversary Essay Contest. And, of
course, she finds time to remain active
in the National Federation of the Blind.
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