The Language of Bauldamore (aka Baltimore)

Welcome to Bauldamore, Hun! We are so glad you’ve come to visit, even if it’s just for a virtual convention. By the way, Hun is not at all a term used because you may happen to be blind. Hun is used often in Charm City, and to be truly “hunned” for the first time is a momentous event! I remember my hunning well. I was at the store and was asked “paper or plastic, Hun?” I smiled and knew I was truly welcomed to Bauldamore… Or is it Bauldimore? Or Balt’more? Well, whatever it is, welcome! And here is a little article to keep handy so you will understand what we’re trying so hard to tell you!

If you arrive in Merlin by air then you will likely land at our beloved  Thurgood Marshall Bauldamore Washington International airport. That’s a mmouthful so we just shorten it to BWI. Although references to our airport might sound more like B Dub Ya I.

When you check into your hotel you may need a bottle of wooter so make sure you have enough corders because You don’t want to have to break a twunny.  Unless you enjoy tap wooter from the zinc in the baffroom.

Depending on the time of year you may see our state flare growing, the black eyed Susan. It looks like a daisy but with bright yella kellered pedals and a darke middle. The hearse that winds the race at Pimlico will have a blanket made of these flares.

Someone might have the bright ideer to visit Oryule  Park at Camden yards to catch an Ohs game. If you see Cal ripken, he is like roolty to us. If you’d like to start any type of conversation about the Orioles, the only proper opening is “How aboat dem O’s, hun?”

If you are not keerfull you could get turned around in the jography of the many neighborhoods, including Lilitly, where you might run into our city mare, Brandon Scott. He can tell you zactly where you are. You might not want to leave Lilitly before trying some amazing Italian food or visit nearby historic Fell’s Point.

Utah street is spelled E U T A W and has hotels on it although the winnders do not have a view. The street crosses Herd (Howard) Street to the nerth and runds near are famous Inner Harbor where you can catch the wooter taxi for a view from the harbor. If you visit are captall of Naplis, the view includes the U.S. Naval Cadmie  

Many of the row holmes still have their marble stoops where friends gather to sit under colorful ornings to visit and watch the po leese, amberlanze or fare trucks go by.

Bauldamore did well during the pandemic although restaurants suffered because few went out to eght. Don’t start a debate over the best way to eght crab cakes.  This blogger enjoys them broilt with lots of Old Bay seasoning.

If we want to know if you saw the football game you may hear “Juicy that Bauldamore Ravens game? The other team played harble and we won!”

If you ask a Baltimorean to read the convention agenda they may give you information for today’s schedule as well as tuhmarre and give you direction to the room that will sound like “go uphair or downair. Maybe this year we will have a quarr sing during the talent show.

Want to get out of the city for a while? You could go to Western Merlin for a trip in the mountains, or, (my personal favorite) go across the Bay bridge and go downey oshun on the Eastern shore.

We hope you found this information helpful so you don’t sound ignernt the next time you come to our historic town.

This article was lovingly Arthered by Pam Goodman and Melissa Riccobono, with help from Baltimorese 1 and 2by Gorden Beard 1999.