Joseli

Joseli

Future Reflections Spring/ Summer1987, Vol. 6 No. 2
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JOSELI
by Judi Walter Dyer
(Editor's Note: Judi Walter-Dyer is
the Secretary-Treasurer of our NFB
Parent's of Blind Children Division in
Michigan.)
I've been asked by a few of my friends
in the National Federation of the Blind
of Michigan to write an article that
perhaps can be helpful to parents who
are now being challenged with raising a
blind child. I've taught my daughter
Joseli to be independent, trusting, and
hopeful. I've let her be first a child,
and secondly, a blind child.
Joseli is seven years old now. She
was born with congenital blindness. She
was my first born, and never being
around infants before, I did what all
parents do, naturally! I threw her into
the air and caught her. We wrestled on
the floor and did summersaults. We went
to zoos, circuses, parks and carnivals.
Joseli began her formal education at
three months of age, with a home teacher
coming in twice a week. At two years of
age, the special transportation bus came
to our door and somewhat reluctantly and
tearfully, I watched my "baby" leave for
pre-school...she had her stuffed bunny
in one hand, and a diaper bag in the
other. As sad as I felt, and as scary
as it was to have to trust other people
with the care of my daughter each
morning, I knew that if she was going to
have a chance to make it, she needed to
begin learning to trust others at a very early time in life.
My own lack of knowledge and fear of
blindness was short lived. I found that
with the help of the National Federation
of the Blind, and with my years of
helping her gain self-confidence, she
could not only be an independent child,
but a thriving, happy child as well. By
teaching her the nature of her blindness,
she can now enter into a group of
children and in one moment answer their
questions of "what's wrong with your
eyes?", and in the next moment be totally
accepted in their games-- riding on
the merry-go-round, making sand castles,
etc.
Joseli travels the entire neighborhood
with her cane and friends. In school
she is mainstreamed into a regular second
grade classroom. She leaves the
class twice a day, once to learn her
Braille skills and the other to work on
mobility skills. At seven years of age,
Joseli has been going to school for six
years! For four of these she has had
mobility training. Her skills in cane
use have come to the point that her
instructor has run out of things to
teach her as an elementary age child.
She reads at her age level in Braille
and has conquered both regular math and
Nemeth code. This semester she helped
the regular classroom teacher teach her
classmates compass skills, something she
learned a few years ago in mobility
class. She travels with her resource
teacher to other elementary schools in
the Lansing area to put on plays to
teach other children about blindness.
She answers their questions and is
always accepted.
Some days it is easy for me to overlook
her blindness. Recently, a child
from her class had a sleep over party
and invited Joseli. As I dropped her
off, it became apparent that the mother
of the child hadn't been told of
Joseli's blindness. To that child, the
fact had been accepted long ago and
Joseli was just...Joseli! As I gave her
a good-by kiss, the mother caught my eye
with an, "Oh No! What am I going to
do?" look. As we walked out to my car
I told her just to treat Joseli as she
would treat the other girls. Joseli and
the girls showed her that it was really
no big deal and by the time I returned
to pick her up the next morning, Joseli
was honestly told to come back again.
Sometimes things don't work out as
well. Reality brings tears caused by
insensitive remarks, sarcastic looks and
teasing. Her tears from too much homework
and basically having a bad day,
sometimes cause me to feel like keeping
her home where she could be safe from
the "seeing" world. Instead, we cry
together and mourn, then with a kiss and
a hug, Joseli takes off again.
Parents, hold onto your child, but
know when to let them go. Introduce
them to the world. Take them swimming
and horseback riding. Go to nature
camps and pajama parties. Yes, take
them to planetariums and to circuses.
Teach them what you expect from them.
Discipline them and reward them. Tell
them your dreams for them as they grow
up--like going to college and having
families of their own. Under safe and
watchful eyes, let go of them to learn
about the world on their own.
In conclusion, please know that I'm
just like all parents. There are no
experts on raising blind children. We
learn by using common sense and taking
chances. Please remember that it's O.K. if at times it all seems overwhelming.
It's O.K. to be angry and confused. We
all want what is best for our children.
Seek help from the schools, your church,
social workers, and parent groups. It's
O.K. to pick out and use role models.
Some of the best are available from our
own N.F.B. members. That's what they
are there for. To provide help and
support in any way possible.