Knowing Better, Doing Better

Knowing Better, Doing Better

Future Reflections Convention Issue 2014 PARENT POWER
(back) (contents) (next)
Knowing Better, Doing Better
by Holly Miller
From the Editor: Holly Miller serves as president of the Parents of Blind Children of New Jersey. She is also a member of the board of the National Organization of Parents of Blind Children.
As president of Parents of Blind Children of New Jersey, I talk to a lot of parents who are unsure of what their children need. They're especially unsure when it comes to school, but often they're uncertain about life in general. They worry that they've been "doing it wrong," and they think that maybe it's too late to turn things around.
But it's never too late. As parents, we all do the best we can. None of us was born knowing how to navigate the school system, what the appropriate tools are for our kids, what skills they should be learning and when. Almost all of us start with the belief that the experts know better than we do. Raising a blind child is supposed to be hard! How many times have friends and strangers given us that pity face and said, "I don't know how you do it!" We just do it. They're our kids, and we love them, and we figure it out.
How many of us have sat in an IEP meeting being glared at by a battalion of "experts" who make us feel like we're trying to do something TO our children instead of FOR our children? It happens sometimes when we insist on Braille instruction, or ask for O&M instruction that goes a little further than just walking down the same old school corridors.
When you know better, you do better. Being involved with the NFB is the best way to start knowing better. Here at convention you have the opportunity to network with other parents. Some parents who come here are new to all this, and some are well along in knowing the territory. You'll also meet professionals who really have high expectations for our kids. Being involved in the NFB will go a long way toward making sure that your child has many opportunities when she or he grows up.
You can't predict the future, but one thing you can be sure of--your blind child will grow up to be a blind adult. You will meet lots and lots of blind adults at convention. Don't be shy while you're here! Don't be afraid to introduce yourself and strike up conversations. Sit with your state delegation during the general sessions. Get to know the folks from your home turf. Keep in touch with them when you go back home. Find out where your local chapter meets and attend those meetings. The people in your state affiliate are going to be there for your kids as they grow up.
While we're on the subject of general sessions, don't skip them! I know Orlando offers a lot of temptations, but this is really important stuff. Some of the topics may not seem relevant to you now, especially if your child is really little. But the information and perspective you get in the general sessions will give you a roadmap to your child's future.
I know what it's like to be told I have unreasonable expectations for my child. I know what it's like to be told that I have unreasonable expectations of the school. I've been told in not-too-subtle terms that I'm just a mom, and that my opinion doesn't count among professionals. I once had a special education director look me in the eye and tell me that she cared more about my son's welfare than I did!
Unfortunately, it took us a long-drawn-out court battle to get the school to teach my son Braille. We started asking in the summer before he started second grade, and he didn't get to start Braille until sixth grade. I worried that it was too late. I worried that there was too much going on in middle school for him to devote the time with a TVI necessary for him to learn Braille. Well, it wasn't too late! My son has risen to the challenge, and he has learned Braille better and faster than I ever imagined possible. I am so proud of him, because he had to put in a lot of hard work. [Applause] It's not that Braille is all that hard to learn, but it does take work. Anything worth learning takes hard work.
You all know your child better than anyone else does. You are qualified to make appropriate decisions about your child's education and life. Don't let anyone make you feel that you're not capable of knowing what your child needs! [Applause]

Media Share

// maxLength) {
twtTitle = twtTitle.substr(0, (maxLength - 3)) + '...';
}
var twtLink = 'http://twitter.com/home?status=' + encodeURIComponent(twtTitle + ' ' + twtUrl);
document.write('');
// ]]>

function fbs_click()
{
u=location.href;
t=document.title;
window.open('http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Fdev.twitter.com%2Fp…;);
return false;
}

(back) (contents) (next)