Coping At An I.E.P. or Other School Conference Meeting

Coping At An I.E.P. or Other School Conference Meeting

Future Reflections Spring/ Summer1987, Vol. 6 No. 2
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COPING AT AN I.E.P. OR OTHER
SCHOOL CONFERENCE MEETING
Ruth Swenson, chairperson of the legislative
committee of the Parents of
Blind Children Division of the NFB, has
been collecting materials from various
sources (such as Pilot Parents) regarding
parents rights, the Individualized
Education Program (I.E.P,) process, and
tips for handling I.E.P. and other
school conference meetings. She put
some of those ideas together with her
own specific comments for parents of
blind children, and came up with the
this list of suggestions.
Ruth Swenson, by the way, has unique
credentials. She is blind and multiply
handicapped; she is the mother of a
blind, learning disabled teen-ager; and
she is a liscensed attorney. Law, however,
is a second career. Her first
career was as a special educator of
retarded children.
Ruth has been active in the National
Federation of the Blind for many years

and currently serves as the president of
the NFB of Arizona. She is also part of
our Parents Division Network of parents
and blind adults who are willing to
share information and experiences about
raising a blind child. Her phone number
and address are: (602) 892-4344; 311
West McNair Street, Chandler, Arizona,
85224;
SUGGESTION#1: Ask a friend or advocate
to be with you for moral support and
help.
SUGGESTION #2: Remind yourself of those
things you have a right to expect as a
parent.
1) The right to be there discussing a very important concern--your child.
2) The right to function in a role of parent as you do for all your children.
3) The right to expect people to view your handicapped child as a child first,
with the same basic needs as any other
child.
4) The right to ask for and receive
clear explanations from people whose
actions affect your family.
5) The right to air your concerns
without criticism or intimidation.
6) The right to say "I don't know" or
"I don't understand".
7) The right to refuse inappropriate
requests or pressure without feeling
guilty, selfish, or ignorant.
8) The right to "shop around" for the kind of professional advice you respect.
9) The right to encouragement in the difficult job of rearing your child.
SUGGESTIONS #3: Be knowledgable about
your legal rights.
1) Know as much as you can about your
legal rights under federal and state
statutes. Knowledge gives confidence.
2) However, do not feel you have to
know everything. Even if all you know
is that Public Law 94.142, the Education
of All Handicapped Children Act, gives
you and your blind child some rights and
protections (and you don't even have to
know what those rights are), you already
know more than most people -- including
the professionals.
SUGGESTION # 4: Be knowledgeable about
blindness and know what you want for
your child.
Again, knowledge brings confidence.
The National Federation of the Blind can
help you learn about blindness and what
you should expect of, and for, your
blind child. Don't feel guilty, however,
if you are still not sure about
some thoings. None of us ever know it
all. We can only do our best under the
circumstances we are given.
SUGGESTION #5: If there is tension,
learn to tune in on yourself and others
every so often throughout a meeting to
rate the tension level. If possible,
ask a friend who is present to signal
you if you show undesired signs of
tension.
Manage tension physically by trying
one or more of these ideas:
1) Take several deep breaths ;
2) Tense and relax some muscles, such as arms or legs;
3) Stand up and stretch;
4) Ask for a one to two minute break;
5) Find someone in the room who looks relaxed and try to model them;
6) Shift your attention to some physical activity (have coffee, write notes,
etc.).
Manage tension verbally by:
1)Momentarily shifting the topic;
2) Saying something humorous ;
3) Saying out loud that you do feel tense;
4) Asking for the meeting to be rescheduled
if you feel sure you won't be
a productive contributor.
SUGGESTIONS #6: If you missed an opportunity
to say something.
l)Write yourself a note to use later.
2) Take a break and discuss the matter with a friend.
3) Bring the incident up anyway, during or after the conference.
4) Write a letter to the conference coordinator immediately after the
meeting.
5) Plan to bring it up at another conference (and practice the statement
you wanted to make before you go).
SUGGESTION #7: If someone has just made
a provoking statement, you choose to:

1) Ignore it and continue.

2) Use silence and a direct gaze to
underscore the comment's inappropriateness.3) Label the comment for what it is in a calm voice (good luck) and express your
feelings about it.
SUGGESTION #8: If there is conflict,
stop the meeting and reschedule for a
later date. Decide in the meantime what
your approach should be:
1) Peaceful coexistence.
2) Compromise (sounds fair, but it is
not always the more reasonable solution,
because it can be a way of avoiding or
postponing dealing with a problem).3) Direct problem-solving.*
4) Filing a formal complaint.
5) Requesting a due process hearing.
* Steps in Direct Problem-Solving
1) Define the problem. Leave out any
expression of how you feel.
2) Collect information to support
your statement, such as other professional
opinions, papers showing past
performances, letter showing your ef
forts to correct, etc.
3) Express the need for change. Find out whom to talk to, invite a friend or
advocate, and come prepared with a well
practiced statement, background information,
and suggestions for possible ways
the problem could be solved.
4) Work to help make changes. Join with others, such as the National Federation
of the Blind and the NFB Parents
of Blind Children Division, to work on
common problems and concerns. If we all
contribute some time and talent, we can
get more done with less effort than if
we try to go it solo.
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