But Will He Be Safe?

But Will He Be Safe?

Future Reflections Winter/Spring 1998, Vol. 17 No. 1

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But Will He Be Safe?

by Dawn Neddo

Kyle Neddo using his cane on the

boardwalk up to the sand dunes.

Editor's Note: Dawn Neddo and Gary Wunder's

parents have at least one thing in common—a child born prematurely and blind. But

there is one difference, one very important difference—unlike Gary's parents, Dawn

does not have to "re-invent" the wheel. Because of the National Federation of

the Blind, she has the support and information she needs, and just as importantly, her son

Kyle does not have to wonder—as Gary did as a child—what it is that blind people

can do. Here is Dawn's story:

There have been many times in my son's young life

that I have heard the words "But will he be safe?", "I don't think he's

developmentally ready" and "We have to think of liability." And with those

words I have seen the looks on the faces of teachers, relatives, and parents of sighted

children—looks of pity, disbelief, and general concern for me because I am not

"accepting" my child's blindness.

Sometimes I doubt my own decisions about pushing

Kyle too much or expecting too much from someone so young and determined. When I look back

at when he was a baby, so frail that everyone around me was looking at him with heartbreak

and at me with feelings of compassion, I think it was then that I drew my strength from

Kyle. If God had given Kyle the will to live he had also given me the will to fight for

the best life possible for Kyle. That meant a life full of laughter, playing with friends,

riding bikes, swimming, and learning. I wanted for Kyle what every parent wants for their

child.

Having Kyle for a son has been easy compared to

the strain of fighting for his rights as a blind child. I remember one time feeling very

defeated because it seemed that no matter how hard he worked and how very much he had

accomplished there was always another negative standing in his way.

At these times I usually call our friends Allen

and Joy Harris for support and encouragement. (Allen and Joy are both blind. Allen is the

president of the NFB of Michigan.) I realize that the "fight" has been going on

for a long time, and it's only because of the NFB that Kyle has even been allowed on the

playing field of life. I tell Kyle that just as the NFB blind members have made it

possible for him to succeed, he is helping the younger children that follow him.

On vacation this summer in the Traverse City,

Michigan, area, we spent a lot of time at the Sleeping Bear Sand Dunes. All of our

children love climbing the dunes with boundless energy and running down the mounds of sand

as fast as their legs will allow. It is truly a beautiful scene as the sun is setting to

watch them running and laughing to reach the bottom of the dune. When I watch Kyle running

up the dune I am amazed at his energy, and I think back at the professionals who said he

would never walk. When he calls out to his dad and I to watch him "fly"—he

is running full force, back straight, head high, arms down in a natural running

position—I think to myself that this is what it is all about—having the freedom

to do what you choose to do and the skills to know how to obtain it.

Sometimes Kyle gets a little dependent and tries

to see if he can get away with hanging on me and getting me to

guide him when I know he can do it himself. We had started up the

steep hill headed toward the top of the sand dunes and a lookout

point when I realized that Kyle was hanging on me. Thinking

that I would rather be hanging on him up that long, steep walk I

said, "You know Kyle, this would be a perfect place to practice being

independent. I could walk a ways behind you, and you could walk

ahead of me using your cane following the wood walkway. When your

cane hits the sand you'll know you have to get back on the

wood." Because Kyle likes adventure I added, "Now don't yell back at

me every two seconds to see if I'm there. That way no one will know that

we are even together, and people will wonder "What is

that kid doing up here all by himself?" I said. They will really

think you are independent and grown up.

He thought this was great as I knew he would.

People that he passed looked at him and smiled at each other as if they were proud of him

also. No one knew we were together or who he was with. Only once did he get off the walk

where the sand had blown over the wood. He was using his cane to get back on track just as

an elderly lady tried to pull him over to the walk. But Kyle very politely said "No

thanks, I can do it myself" before I could even intervene.

Kyle had walked on his own all the way to the top

and back down. We were almost to the parking lot when I recognized the assistant director

of special education services coming up the walk. She walked past Kyle, and as I

approached her I said "Hi." She introduced Kyle to her husband and told him what

a wonderful student Kyle was. As we walked away I told Kyle that he picked a perfect time

to be independent and how all the people that saw him being independent would remember

him, and the next time they thought about the blind they would remember this. His younger

blind friends might have an easier time being able to do the things they want because he

is showing others what can be done. The next time this assistant director is at a meeting

and people ask "But how will a blind child even find the bathroom?" she can tell

them how she saw a blind child independently climbing the sand dunes.

I was very proud of Kyle that day. He is starting

4th grade with confidence he has learned through the National Federation of the Blind. I

have learned from going to NFB Conventions and reading the NFB publications—Future

Reflections and the Braille Monitor— that fighting for Kyle's rights and having the

high expectations that I have for him is what will enable him to have the best life

possible.
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