A Life-Changing Experience

A Life-Changing Experience

Diana Knox

A Life-Changing Experience

by Diana Knox

Reprinted from the November, 1998, issue of the Braille Monitor.

From the Editor: The following speech was delivered at the 1998 convention of the

National Federation of the Blind of Maine. It is a moving illustration of the importance

of our scholarship program. This is what Diana Knox said:

I was awarded an NFB scholarship at the 1997 convention in New Orleans, and I've been

asked to speak to you about my convention experience. My story doesn't begin at

convention; it begins when I was a child. My mother had been to see an ophthalmologist and

was very upset when she returned home. The ophthalmologist had told her that she would be

blind within five years. My parents said that the doctor was a quack. There was talk of

second opinions and possibly a malpractice suit. Since I was a child and not fully aware

of the implications of such a diagnosis, it was hard for me to understand my parents'

reaction. After all, my grandfather was blind; why couldn't my mother be? This was my

first exposure to blindness, and fear was the response that stuck with me.

After my mother had been blind for some time, she began to receive services from the

Division of Blind Services. I began to observe my mother and her blind colleagues. Those

observations, blended with my other stereotypes, formed my opinions of blindness. I knew

that one day I would be blind too, and those opinions were the only standard that I had on

which to base my expectations for my own life. It was pretty scary.

Last spring a gentleman from the NFB's Scholarship Committee called to inform me that I

was a scholarship winner. I remember thinking that it was no big deal. I was only

competing with blind people; what could be the challenge in that? Nonetheless, I was

grateful for the money and agreed to attend the NFB convention. Attending that convention

was a life-changing experience. I was afforded the opportunity to observe blind people

from all different walks of life. I was exposed to the concepts of high expectations and

opportunity. I was challenged to rethink my conceptions (and misconceptions) of blindness

and to examine the expectations that I held for myself as a blind person.

Leading others to examine their beliefs is a daunting task. A doctor was on the

Scholarship Committee who challenged me with questions like how would a blind doctor

diagnose a rash on a patient. Those were tough questions to which I didn't have any

earth-shattering answers, but the questions provoked me to think. They opened the door for

me to view blindness from a different perspective. Before my convention experience my

attitude was that blindness would cause a loss in my life. I had lost my ability to drive

and some ability to read, and I was sure that blindness would rob me of the pleasure of my

favorite hobbies. I now realize that is not so. What I lacked was the ability to look at

things from a different perspective: not being able to drive doesn't mean that you sit

home; it means that you take the initiative to find alternate transportation. Reading used

to mean looking at words on a page. I had missed the point. What is important is not

looking at words on a page but getting the information into your head. Realizing this has

brought about a change in attitude. I now have the ability to view myself as a blind

person who has a lot to offer to this world.

Certainly a blind person who has a lot to offer the world has high expectations for

herself, but what does society expect from a blind person? I thought that I knew the

answer: not much. My mother and the friends that she made through Division of Blind

Services called themselves "The Blind Club." Not much was expected from these

people, and consequently they were not taught skills that would make them self-sufficient.

I was sure that I knew what to expect for myself when it came time for me to be

initiated into the club. I thought my productive life would be over. I knew that I would

earn my degree, but I never expected that I would have the opportunity to use it or to

prove my abilities. I believed that I would lose my independence. I did not realize that

blind people could be self-reliant, and it was terrifying to think of living that way. I

expected the NFB convention to be an expanded version of the blind club. Instead I found

people who have skills, issues, and achievable expectations for themselves. What a change

I have made in the expectations that I have for my life! I can have that career. No longer

do I believe that my life has to end.

Something that I had not given much consideration to before my convention experience

was the role that opportunity plays in bringing our expectations to fruition.

Opportunities for blind people: before my convention experience I did not think that there

was much to talk about. What I saw at convention changed my mind. At convention I saw

people working to bring about opportunity in many ways. People were learning skills and

acquiring technology that would permit them to remain independent and effective. I sat

through a Resolutions Committee meeting while they debated legislation and other issues. I

sat in a Merchants Division meeting while they discussed the ramifications of the

Randolph-Sheppard Act on their businesses. These people were not crying for special

treatment. They were working to secure a level playing field for the blind.

We live in an age that offers rehabilitation services and legislation such as the ADA,

but even with these policies in place, opportunity is not handed to us. Opportunity is

something that we create. Our abilities must be proven. Blind people are not bumbling Mr.

Magoos; we are intelligent, competent people who, when given a level playing field, can

successfully compete. Attitude, expectation, and opportunity: one key opens all three

doors. That key is education.

When I went to the NFB convention, I was searching for answers about my blindness. I

hadn't gotten answers from my rehab counselor, and I really didn't expect much from NFB. I

was wrong. I learned more about myself as a blind person in one week than I had in all the

previous time I had spent dealing with blindness. I learned the importance of educating

blind people because we develop the tools to lead happy and fulfilling lives. I also

learned that education is imperative if we are going to compete in society. There are so

many misconceptions about blindness that it is our responsibility to dispel those old

myths. Education is the key to changing society's attitudes and opinions. It is through

education that society will change their expectations for blind people. Opportunity will

be created when society learns the truth about blind people.

One member of the Scholarship Committee advised me that, if I would keep an open mind,

I would leave convention with much more than scholarship money. She was right. The seeds

have been planted. Now I understand about alternate skills and technology. I now have

achievable expectations for myself, and I understand that it is our responsibility to

educate and work for opportunity. That convention had a major impact on my life, and I

think that, if I were to sum it up, I would say that I now know that I am blind, but I am

no longer in the dark. The NFB convention was a life-changing event for me, and I'm

grateful for the opportunity to have attended.

The scholarship class of 1998 (left to right) back row: Tomas Citron, Adam

LaSalle, Eddie Bell, Tanya

Stewart, Rik James, and Daryl Swinson; middle row: Nhu Nguyen, Stephanie Thompson, Ellen Nichols,

Catherine Armstrong, David Dxaka, Brenda Patterson, Sathish Sundaran, Ameenah Ghoston,

Eddie Culp,

Calvin Keuchler, Greg Williams, Jason Hutton, Arnold Thomas, and Priscilla McKinley; front

row: Lauren

Hunter, Karla Gilbride, Amanda Bourn, Tiffany Medina, Steven Smith, and Angela McJunkin.