Role Models, Parents, Blind Children And The National Federation Of The Blind

Role Models, Parents, Blind Children And The National Federation Of The Blind

Future Reflections Jan/ Feb/March 1985, Vol. 4 No. 1
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ROLE MODELS, PARENTS, BLIND
CHILDREN AND THE NATIONAL
FEDERATION OF THE BLIND
by Barbara Cheadle
Last spring I received a very enthusiastic letter
from a parent in Texas. She wanted some information
about resources for blind/multiple handicapped
children and advice on how she could
better represent parent's needs on her school
advisory committee. In the letter she explained
that although she wanted the parent group she
was in to affiliate with the NFB Parents of Blind
Children Division, others in the group couldn't
see the advantage of it.
As I considered what I could say to her, some
images of my son played before me. My blind
son playing tic-tac-toe with a blind adult friend
-- both of them happily pressing their noses to
the page, making thick marks with felt-tip pens.
. . . Chaz asking my babysitter (a young blind
mother) how she could tell when his baby sister's
diapers needed changing. . . . His sheepish
laugh when I squawked, "What did you say!?"
after he had just complained that he couldn't
clean his room better, "because I'm blind." . . .
The day my son asked me -- out of the clear blue
-- if he would be "more blind" some day.
At first, these incidents may not seem to have
much to do with the questions this mother
raised. After all, she asked about parent's needs
and here I am thinking about things my blind
son has said or done. But of course most of what
we say we need as parents of blind children is
actually grounded in what we believe our blind
children need. Most of us would agree that our
children need positive parents that are knowledgeable
and well-informed about blindness
and services for the blind. But how many of us have thought seriously about the need of our
blind child to be around positive, knowledgeable
and well-informed blind adults? Or for our own
needs as parents for this contact?
Other children -- boys, girls, blacks, hispanics -- need good role models for the development of
realistic goals and a positive self-image. Doesn't
it seem reasonable that blind children (and their
parents) would benefit from this, too? How
many parents have discarded this idea because
they could not shake their belief that blind
people are inferiors -- helpless and dependent?
What do parents who believe this think about
their own blind child? Do they decide to accept
this view and therefore expect less of this child?
Do they decide that their child is "exceptional,
not like other blind people"? Do they try to deny
blindness -- refusing to even use the word
"blind" or perhaps hope and search endlessly
for a miracle or cure?
What happens to the confidence, abilities and
self-image of these children? Well, those are
some of the things I thought about as I wrote
back to this mother. Here is an edited version of
that letter.
Dear Mrs.__________
I enjoyed your letter and our subsequent telephone
conversation. I am always excited when
other parents show such an intense interest in
the National Federation of the Blind. I think it is
the best organization any parent of a blind child
can choose to become a part of. I believe you will
find that true, too.
You asked in your letter -- and we touched on it
some in our telephone conversation -- about
getting involved with the NFB in your area. I did
call , the NFB of state
president, and told him of your interest, and sent
him a copy of your letter. I suggest that you not
wait for him to call, but go ahead and contact
him.
Now about your questions regarding the blind
and multiply handicapped and what you can do
to become a better parent-advisor to your school.
First of all, the best way for you to get answers to
those questions is to join your local and state
NFB affiliate, go to NFB sponsored meetings,
seminars and conventions and get involved
with the NFB public education and fund raising
events in your area. Your interactions with, and
observations of, competent blind adults will
teach you more about blindness -- what you can
expect of your blind child and what you should
demand of the professionals serving your child -- than you could ever get any other way.
And yes, that includes the blind and multiply
handicapped as well. There are blind federationists
with just about every other disability
you can think of -- cerebral palsy, deafness,
mental retardation, etc. Blind and multiply handicapped
adults find the Federation and the
Federation philosophy as meaningful and as
pertinent to them as it is to those who are "just"
blind. Parents can learn from these federationists
much that will help them better understand
their child and his or her potential.
I would also refer them to Doris Willoughby's
book, A RESOURCE GUIDE FOR PARENTS
AND EDUCATORS OF BLIND CHILDREN.
She has a chapter on the blind and multiply
handicapped in that book. However, the most
important thing she points out is that everything
in her book applies, it just may take more time
or adaptations because of the other handicap.
Other educators in the federation also point out
that the parents of blind and multiply handicapped
children should get to know as much as
they can about each disability that their child has.
Now, I suppose you are wondering how joining
the NFB and participating in our activities can
help you become more a knowledgeable, more
articulate parent when it comes to knowing
what to expect (or to demand) from the professionals
serving your child. Let me give you some
examples.
Not long ago some parents I know had about
decided not to introduce the slate and stylus at
all to their blind youngster. Educators and most
of the professional literature down-play this
method of writing Braille. They say it is difficult
for a child to learn (it isn't) and no longer really
necessary because of the Braillewriter (not true).
These parents changed their minds after spending
a day at an NFB function and observing
blind people using a slate and stylus. They saw,
first hand, the convenience and portability of
the slate and stylus. By talking to the most
skillful users they learned how important early
introduction of the slate and stylus was, and
that it need not be difficult for a child to learn if
properly introduced and taught. Without this
experience their child could have been deprived
of gaining speed and competency in a very
important skill.
This kind of experience is beginning to be
repeated more and more as parents are going to
NFB seminars and conventions. At a Colorado
NFB parents seminar, one parent told us that
they now had the information and support they
needed to insist on cane travel lessons they
wanted for their eight year old daughter. For two
years they had let the professionals talk them
out of it. Now, after hearing the experiences of
dozens of blind adults and hearing about the
results of an NFB philosophy influenced educational
program that begins all children at age
five with cane travel, they know that their
instincts had been right.
Those are just two experiences from two sets of
parents who have learned how the National
Federation of the Blind can help them evaluate
their child's educational program. There are
many others.
The most important benefit I am now receiving
from the NFB is not what I learn, but what my
blind son learns. Just two weeks ago he asked a
blind friend who had us over for dinner if her
teen-age daughter (who is sighted) cooked the
meal. I and my husband knew immediately
what he was really asking. What he was really
saying was, "Can blind people cook a meal just
like I know my sighted mother and other sighted
people can?" Would he have asked that if he
were never around a blind person? Maybe, maybe
not. Would he have believed a sighted person the
way he could believe a blind person? I doubt it.
Would he have even thought about it if he were
not around blind people? He most surely would
have. Ask any blind adult about the unasked
questions and doubts they had as a blind child.
My son is only six years old and he has been
asking question about blindness since he was
four. That shows you how quickly they pick up
on the negative social attitudes and beliefs
about blindness that are all around them. The
benefit my son has experienced already from his
exposure to our blind friends and acquaintances
is enormous. They are living examples of a
positive attitude about blindness. They are not
ashamed, angry, or embarrassed about their
blindness -- whether it be total or partial. Their
example teaches my son so much more about
how to feel good about himself as a blind person
than anything I, or any sighted person, could
ever tell him.
I have also found that members of the National Federation of the Blind make the best role
models. Most federationists try hard to apply
the NFB philosophy about blindness to their
own lives. Furthermore, they have a deeper
understanding of blindness because of their
association with the largest, oldest consumer
organization of the blind (the NFB) in this
country. Federationists know, for example, if
their personal experiences are common or unique
among blind persons; they know how to evaluate
services and programs for the blind critically
and honestly; they are better prepared to know
when special services are appropriate and when
they are not; and federationists lead the way in
demanding the rights and accepting the responsibilities
of first class citizenship for themselves
and for all blind persons.
This doesn't mean that all members of the
National Federation of the Blind are paragons
of virtue and competency. They are not. You will
find the same range of intelligence and personality
characteristics among the blind as you will
among any sighted group. Some are friendly
and outgoing, some are shy and introverted;
some are tactful and some are not; some are
bright, most are average and some are below
average; and some are more competent than
others. But that's OK. It is one of the best
demonstrations of the real "normality" of the
blind that there is.
You say in your letter that although you are sold
on the value of the NFB, other parents and
members of your parent group are not. Those
things I have discussed so far should help
convince them. But those are not the only good
reasons to join.
I believe that parents who really wish to create
better opportunities for their blind child's future
(opportunities for good jobs and promotions;
opportunities to travel and live where they wish
without harassment and restrictions; opportunities
to participate fully in community, social
and church affairs; and all the other things that
make life happy and rewarding) that they have
no choice but to join the National Federation of
the Blind. I also believe that parents have a
moral obligation to help make the way easier for
blind persons of the next generation (that includes
blind children and their parents).
The National Federation of the Blind knows
that the real obstacle to achieving better opportunities
for our children is not the physical fact
of blindness but social attitudes, myths and
misconceptions about blindness. The National
Federation of the Blind believes that, given
proper training and opportunity, blind persons
can compete on a basis of equality with their
sighted peers.
A young blind man (a college student) was
telling me recently why he wanted to join and
strengthen his local chapter of the National
Federation of the blind. He said something to
this effect, "I will be graduating from school in a
few years and when I get out I am going to want
a job. If I join the NFB now, and do everything
that I can to help our chapter educate the public
about blindness, then I am going to have a much
better chance of getting a good job in a couple of
years. So, I guess my reason for joining the NFB
is a selfish one. I want a good job and a better life
for myself." We parents could learn a good
lesson from this young man. Just think what the
opportunities could have been for him if his
parents, ten or twenty years ago, had been able
to understand and act on what he now understands
and is acting on.
It is no coincidence that the communities with a
good public understanding and acceptance of
blindness invariably have a large and active
chapter of the National Federation of the Blind.
Again, I am excited and pleased about your
decision to join the National Federation of the
Blind. There is no doubt in my mind that the
single best action parents can take to insure for
their child a future of opportunity is to work side
by side with the organized blind to achieve our
mutual goals of security, equality and opportunity
for all blind persons.
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